God & Company

I'm Not Sure, But I Think the Seventh Day Adventists Just Called The Pope a Girl

The Seventh Day Adventists describe themselves as "a Christian Community preparing the world for the return of Jesus Christ." They do this not by setting out traffic cones and making sure there are enough Porta Potties around likely Second Coming sites, but by preaching what they believe is the one-and-only correct way to worship. That is, they're pretty much like every other religion in the world.

The Seventh Day Adventists' particular bugaboo is the sabbath, which they believe should be Saturday, not Sunday. They are absolutely convinced that other Christians are making a mortal mistake by worshipping on the wrong day, and point to Bible verses like Numbers 15:32-36 to show how serious God is about this sabbath business:

"And while the children of Israel were in the wilderness, they found a man that gathered sticks upon the sabbath day. And they that found him gathering sticks brought him unto Moses and Aaron, and unto all the congregation. And they put him in ward, because it was not declared what should be done to him. And the Lord said unto Moses, The man shall surely be put to death: all the congregation shall stone him with stones without the camp. And all the congregation brought him without the camp, and stoned him with stones, and he died; as the Lord commanded Moses."